1....
Who is drunker
On Saturday, police broke up a disturbance between a couple arguing over which one was drunker. Both were arrested and taken to the Hospital for treatment of injuries to their heads.
The police are charging them with disorderly conduct and disturbing the peace, but not assault.
They each injured themselves and not the other.
It seems, according to police and witnesses, that the couple were taking turns bashing their heads into the drywall walls and the wooden door of their apartment in order to prove they were so drunk that they couldn't feel the pain.
2...
VIP
A chauffeur worked for a woman who took her cat with her on rides.
During one trip, the driver dropped her at a mall before he gassing up. The cat remained in the car, laying down on the top of the limousine's back seat.
The service station's attendant often glanced at unusual passenger. Finally, he asked: "Sir, is that cat someone important?"
3....
I need money!!!!
According to a database maintained by Academic Guidance Services, there are 3,000 scholarships earmarked for golf caddies, newspaper carriers, glee clubbers, and band members.
Juanita College in Pennsylvania gives grants to needy left-handers.
Parents whose children were born on June 12, 1979 can plan ahead to apply for a scholarship to the Rochester Institute of Technology in honor of the school's 150th anniversary.
Bucknell University gives grants to students who do not use alcohol, tobacco, or narcotics and don't engage in strenuous activities.
A judge in Seattle uses the fines he collects from prostitutes to finance scholarships for their reformed sisters who want to return to school.
